Saturday, October 12, 2013

I'm sitting here this afternoon, on my bed, drinking tea. It's the only space in my house today I can find that is just for me. 

I recently made a career and location change to tie up some loose ends before I start what I believe will be the best chapter of my life. I left Seattle to move back to upstate NY and be with family for a little while since it had been seven years. I was instantly thrown into old patterns and realizations of why I may have decided to move across the country in the first place. But I'm here, and I stick by my decision. Deep down I know that when something is feeling uncomfortable, there are big soul changes just around the corner. 

So here I am feeling uncomfortable and the only thing I can do to get through right now is create the sacred in my life. Carve out a space in my brain that gets me back to my spiritual roots, roots I created for myself once before that need to be remembered. I had a community back in Seattle, one I could be myself with and use words that resonated with me like "Great Spirit" or "smudge." I need to find those people out here, I know they exist and I'm slowly finding pockets of them but I think I may have to take on more of a leadership role in my spirituality that I previously had to.  Which is completely fine, maybe even exactly what I need.  So for now I'm going to work on creating the sacred right in my room, right where I sit, before I take it out and show it around. 

First step: clean body=clear mind

That's my goal for now, gift myself with a clean body.  But this time I'm going about it a different way. It feels like I have tried everything and I've failed when it comes to eating/exercising the way I want. Then I realized I've been going about it the wrong way. Every time I try a diet, or promise myself I'll exercise more, drink more water, etc. I always feel bad when I inevitably fail. I tell myself horrible things that I would never say to a friend. So this time I am only telling myself good things, I am praising myself for everything nice I do for my body.


Every day I am writing down all the nice things I've done for my body and soul. Only the good, and looking at it and saying, look what you gifted yourself today! You gifted yourself an apple, how nice, your body really appreciated that. You drank tea? That sounds relaxing. Good for you! 20 minutes at the gym? Wonderful! 

Self defeating thoughts always chime in, but I push them away with an even bigger, YOU ROCK!

I always meet my patients where they are at that day, why don't we meet ourselves where we are? I don't force them to try something they're not ready for, and I certainly don't discourage them with unkind words. It's time to start treating ourselves with that same respect. 

I'm choosing to be kind to myself today.  Will you join me?